Ninety Days

Love at first sight.

Some say it never lasts. After infatuation and lust fail you- your love leaves you or perhaps it was never there. There are some that will swear by this one sentence fairy tale. There are others that will preach the danger and refuse the possibility. Then there are those who hope for it- demanding its irrational fate and immense responsibility.

I feel I choose it or at least I try to. Love at first sight. Ironic.

Every ninety days it is my choice- no more,no less. Just ninety days to live out love. And I believe it all starts with love at first sight.

I work in a shelter for children and adolescences. It is a twenty four hour facility in which these kids eat, breath, and sleep but will never be their home. It is only temporary.There they are introduced to a variety of individuals that manage the working and life of the shelter. That is what my job requirement is- to manage. And some days that is all you can do. You see, most of the kids that come through this facility come from less than ideal circumstances. Less than ideal meaning that they come from hurt, pain, and anger. And in many ways they have lost there freedom and individuality. They have now become a part of a system and are a situation- a problem- a case. And while there are those that try to convince them otherwise, the truth is there are few of them that know anything of love nor do they expect it. Not to say that there have not been some in their lives that have tried, not to say they never heard the words, but to suggest that love has been so little and laborious that it puts up a faint fight before the bully of the bad. And that is what they express.

Not a day goes by that I do not hear the word bitch and many times it's point of reference is me. Some yell and push for power. They step to each other and to staff. They act as if they have no fear. Others manipulate and lie like it is their only social skill. Some run away. Some steal. There are some that rape,molest, and threaten to kill. Some get high. Some get drunk. Very rarely are they happy. And this is what most people see.

But there is more. There is much more.

There are tears. There are scars. There are wounds that no one can touch or see.

There is laughter, there is thought, there is desire, and there is light.

These kids are wonders. They are joys. They are heroes.

They are strong. They are smart. They are courageous.

They are the Holy. They are set apart. They are humans who bear the image of God. And they are loved.

I know because I see it. I know because I believe it.

So, when they arrive for their ninety days I hope I can love . And not in spite of, not of pity,and not for narcissistic love. But love. Just love. Love at first sight.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.